Most people grow up dreaming about finding Mr. or Mrs. Right. They have some expectations about their first date, their first kiss, and their wedding day. But I don’t think most people put much forethought into an elimination process to sort out all the potential Mr. Wrongs. It’s kind of sobering how making a wise relationship choice can exponentially enrich your life, and how making poor relationship choices can cataclysmically drive your life to ruin.
Imagine how differently these major areas of your life would contrast in the right relationship versus the wrong relationship:
- earning an income and how you use it
- raising kids and where you live
- spending weekends and vacation time
- finding and being available for friends
Sunday, we studied Samson’s fatal flaw of making poor relationship choices, and concluded that poor choices can kill you …or at least sap your strength. So, start dreaming about that elimination process now, before you start dreaming of your wedding night!
So how do you discern Mr. Right from Mr. Wrong? Think about a bull’s-eye with three rings around the target. You’ve got to pass each ring before you loose the arrow and consider a life-long marriage.
The outer ring on the bull’s-eye is the Relational Target Ring.
Here you check for the normal compatibility qualities that may start with Physical Attraction, Personality and Current Lifestyle.
As you hone in on the target, the next ring is the Character Target Ring.
Here you discover who the potential bride or groom really is and will be once they step down from the dating stage.
Some good character questions to ask are:
• Do I respect them as a person? (what non-physical aspects do I like, would I admire if not dating)
• Do I like this person’s friends? (Birds of a feather…..)
• Does this person have relation toughness? (What do they do when the going gets tough? Are they always the victim in life?)
• Does this person tell the truth? (If he lies to parents, boss and teachers….. he will lie to you)
• Is this person responsible in real life? (keep job, pay bills, debt?, )
Finally, the target ring closest to the bull’s-eye is the Spiritual Target Ring.
For Christians, this is the most important. We need to very simply know whether he or she is a Christian who is currently following Christ and believes the Bible? The answer to this question generally goes hand in hand with the character target ring and some of the relational target ring.
God warns us that intimate relationships between people of dissimilar spiritual centers will kill you …or at least sap your strength.